The love of your life

Will you remember your dreams after you wake up? Last night, I dream of the love of my life, H. He was my classmate back in school. I have not seen him for a long time but he has a permenant special place in my heart because he was my first love.

In my dream, I saw H in a carpark, he was with a friend. He gave me his name card; it was ugly, colorful, like ah loong's name card. He's a little plump but still attractive like he was before. "How's life?" We asked each other at the same time, same nervous tone; we laughed, knowing that we are both okay. His friend interrupted our conversation and he had to leave. A short and sweet dream resulting a miserable day for me..

H was formerly from another state, transfered to my school, sat right behind of me. He'd ask me about anything in because he was a newbie. Then, we became good friends. Most of my girlfriends fell for him. Who wouldn't? He's charming, he's rich, top student, good looking and humble. He was nice to everybody.

My best friend, which I secretly called her "Water Bag" (because her tits look like 2 heavy bouncy water bags) was crazy about H. There was once we all lined up to buy nasi ayam in the canteen and Waterbag rubbed her boobs against H's back. I don't know if she did that on purpose but she certainly looks innocent. H's expression = scared and it shows he's no sex maniac. He said "Let me buy first, I'm goddamn hungry" >:)

Surprise! Not all men love huge boobs?? By the way, Waterbag's wearing cup C size 36/38. You'll love it!

Waterbag has decided to giv up our friendship and to GET H! I knew she liked H so wherever H and I went, I would bring Waterbag along, even when H only invited me alone. Though I liked H so much I was afraid he'd find out my feelings and ruin our friendship. I pretend to be cool, "good friends" and look into his eyes when I talked to him. When a girl likes you, she wouldn't dare to look into your eyes, try it! Waterbag began to feel that she has got chance to be with H. I didn't doubt that because H was nice to her as well. Waterbag bought the same sunglasses as H, the same handphone as H, Nokia something (I'm no NOKIA fan, I don't remember). H knew Waterbag was trying to get his attention. She would be angry at me whenever I talked to H, be it about studies or hobbies. Lama-lama, H became sarcastic when he talked to Waterbag. Unfortunately she didn't get it and thought H likes her. You know some guys talk nasty to you because they like you, but unfortunately.. She was full of hope while H felt the opposite.

Without realizing it everybody were talking about H and I because we were like living in our own world. He would accompany me wherever I go, drove me around like 'best friends'. Waterbag started to hate me, she thought I was in a courtship with H. It's not true, just that I didn't realize I fell in love with H and everything else just became unnoticeable.

One night Waterbag asked me out and told me it was the end of our 4years friendship. She was accompanied by another friend who was also a fan of H that equally hates me like Waterbag do. Both of them said I stole H away. =_= Since then we never talked again. H thought he should be there for me during the discussion with Waterbag... so touched :) He was right but I didn't know what to do. I just went out when they ask me to.

Time flies, I thought my dream guy didn't like me because I'm just TOO ordinary. He thought I was too cool to like him because I'm a person without much expression. Our graduation day came; the last day of school. I will be studying in Penang and he will be going to KL. We didn't even had a proper good bye conversation. I came to Penang, started a new life with a part-time work, full time college. Met new friends, met many guys, dated many of them but none of them could compare to H. He would text me sms once a while but still, nothing happened.

Then, I had my 1st boyfriend Big, a chinese speaking guy who's unable to order food from an English menu. I thought: So what if he couldn't speak English? As long as he can pay the bills, I'm ok... One day after 2 years, H called me, he's in Penang. He picked me up in his flashy little car. We went to a classy cafe and we were the only patrons, how romantic. He's still handsome and the best thing is, he definitely can order from an English menu! We talked nuts for the whole night and finally he asked if I have a boyfriend. Reluctantly I answered Yes. He looked like he was mad. He said "Oh, sure. How could a nice girl like you be single forever. If you're single I'd thought you had something wrong. Haha.." :-\ What the heck!

He waved at the waiter, complained that his coffee was bitter -_-''' They argued for a while and the manager came, finally he won. He was obviously throwing tantrums. What kinda monstor he's become, after 2yrs in KL? He finally drove me home like a mad cow and asked me "Am I that bad? Why wouldn't you accept me?"

I didn't have the guts to tell him that I love him and I'm willing to let go Big for him. He's so perfect I was afraid he's just gonna toy me. I totally have O% confidence. "You are a perfect guy. I would have said yes if I'm single." H: "What's so good about Big? He's no good for you! What's wrong with me?!" Padahalnya he doesn't know Big. I said "He has done nothing wrong. I cannot leave him". He thanked me for my time and that's the end.

He would text me an sms once a while, well wishes. I would reply him a mere thank you. After this H incident, I broke up with Big. "What and where actually went wrong?" Should I just main kayu tiga and said YES! to H?

I'm Mandy and if you suspect you are H... Yes, Mandy still loves you. Don't contact me, let me live.