Monday, September 28, 2009

Video - Take note, guys

For your reference guys:

Here's how you can make peace with your wife / girlfriend when they are mad.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Mid-Autumn Festival

Here comes the Mid-Autumn Festival and look at my little mooncake gift from a colleague.



Isn't it TOO cute to bite? Hmm... I wonder if this little rabbit would just sit on our dining table and eventually becomes expired because nobody's willing to be the cruel one to bite first :-/




CANDY MANDY WISHES ALL OF YOU


A HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL !


The Reason of Breaking up is...

I heard something funny over Flyfm last week and thus, this posting.

A girl name Aileen called Flyfm expressing her anger because her boyfriend broke up with her and she had no idea where and what went wrong. After hesitating for a while, "maybe because of my little bad habit. As we get along, we will naturally reveal our bad habits to our partners but there's nothing wrong about having bad habits, right?" Without hesitating, I agreed to myself.

When asked about her little bad habit, reluctantly she explained that... "I like to smell my feet" she said.

No wonder your boyfriend left you, said Ben and Fabes while laughing hysterically. Wow.. sniff your feet?

We all have bad habits but not to this extend. Then I imagine... maybe they were having dinner and suddenly she felt agitated and decided to sniff her feet? And that has ended the beautiful relationship because the guy couldn't take the smell in the dining room. Wahaha...

Candy said maybe Aileen wants to smell her boyfriend's feet too. @_@! Or make her boyfriend smells her feet, I smell you smell ma... That's love. Well, that has ended the relationship. Oh crap, Candy's even more disgusting >_<

SMELL IT IF YOU LOVE ME !!

Would you break up with your partner if they have this weird habit of smelling their own feet? >:)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Video - Little MJ

OOOOUUU !

Video - Tired of your mother in law?

Here's how you can keep your mother in law away, from visiting:

Padan mukalah! LOL!

How Technology Changed Us


The Glass

A Mexican, an Arabian and a British are in the same bar.

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Arabian, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer (coz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

The British, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arabian. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, he says, 'In Britain we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Video - Twist your Scotch Tape




A simple way to tear your Scotch Tape without a scissors.










Hohoo, let's try..






Failed..

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

So not over it !

I'm heart broken..

I saw a pair of nice watch on a trading website a few days ago, though it's a NO NAME kind of watch but it really caught my attention. I was interested so I wrote to enquire, to see if the seller intends to sell a single piece instead of a pair. If he doesn't I will not separate them, I will buy both >:) Okay, he agrees but when we proceed to talk about the price, he became rude and started to talk nasty, not to mention that he will not even give a single penny discount.

I'm actually okay with the price but girls just love to get discount. Everybody knows that, right?! Even if he gives me RM5 discount, we could have closed the deal by now. What an as*hole!

Where's the civilization? Rakyatku... You sell things online, be prepared to answer questions and GIVE DISCOUNTS!

We receive heaps of emails everyday asking us all kinds of weird questions. We anwser them all, politely, be it serious buyers or clowns. This is Customer Service. You know, people think we sell adult toys, we must have tried them all? It would be so unconvincing if we were to tell them we've never tried one. What do we do? Luckily we usually have feedbacks from our customers, or else... We call to ask our suppliers... sometimes they can't even answer our questions; I bet they feel shy or don't even know how to answer us -_-!

There was once we look at a catalogue, I spotted a little doll wearing a cowboy hat. I thought it was a bottle of lubricant, Candy thought it was a vibrator and finally, it turns out to be a butt plug and the supplier still teases us until today. Common, with the cowboy hat?!! A Butt plug???!!! But at least we were never rude to people who enquire about our products.

Anyway, back to the watches. I'm still feeling so heart broken.. I really wanted that watch but I really don't wanna buy from that idiot. Hey, you idiot listen here. I hope your watches grow mosses or malfunction and you can keep them for the rest of your life! If I don't get it, nobody else gets it!

Grrrhh, I'm so not over it!!! *&^%$#@!!

Big dream


It's lunch time, it's raining, I had an express lunch and start looking at cars because I saw a very sporty car this morning, a Mistubishi something, never seen before but driving slowly / hogging on the road. :( No petrol meh? Drivelah faster :( so sadlah sporty car move slowly :( I think he was driving 40km/hr. 80km/hr also not too much, right?


I like... Peugeot 206 but Naza Bestari is good enough since they are locally assembled. I could just fix the lion logo onto it like everybody does, but when it comes to think of it... aiyah, there's nothing wrong with driving a Bestari, right? You pay for it cheaper, you tanggunglah the logo. LOL. If you want the real lion, belilah Peugeot >:)

Anyway, I couldn't even afford the imported logo, don't mention the car >_<>:) Oh, that's too early to dream...
Hey, Suzuki Swift >:)


Sorry pal, I pandai-pandai modify your car ar.. but I really wanna tint 1/4 of your front lights. Advice me if I have a bad taste :( Did he remove the Nismo spoiler?


Oh my god! I'm gonna get 7 summons a week if I drive a Mazda 3! It looks so fast >:)


I wonder if Candy still remembers, I swore that I want Wrangler Jeep to be my wedding car or else I will not accept the wedding proposal, haha. Some silly things we said when we were young :) but I have not met a guy driving a Jeep :(


OMG! Hummer... I always imagine myself driving a Hummer on the road, so stylo mylo eh? >:) suddenly police cars start chasing me, siren turned on, our Polis Diraja Malaysia acknowledging the call centre "Ada sebuah kereta Hummer yang pandu secara sendiri, TIADA pemandu. Saya ulangi, TIADA pemandu. Sila hantar bantuan sekarang!" because I'm not 6ft tall and Hummer was made for Mat Salleh instead of Asians -_-! I may be 5ft 2 but I have a big heart for a big cars, okay?

Pandu secara sendiri? Humf! *&^%$#^$%#@!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Selamat Hari Raya


Kepada semua member-member Muslim,


SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI,
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.


Salam Sejahtera dari

Candy dan Mandy ^_^

M for Messy

I was too excited when I spotted a new tom yum noodle stall at the coffee shop nearby, because I'm such a super tom yum lover. Candy and I can drive all the way from south to west in the middle of the night just for a bowl of tom yum... and that shows our love for tom yum :)

I simply grab the first container I saw in the kitchen and just pour it in. Ops, that's not a bowl =_=
Then I realize I didn't learn 'iron palm' back in school, I can't hold it no more, so I put it in a pot T_T Everything becomes messy when I'm with tom yum.

Dinner in bed :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Spooky Month


I have been avoiding this topic for the whole month because one aunty from my office told me that this year's Hungry Ghost month is the most threatening one over the last 12 years. She further explained to me but due to my 'low B' in understanding the Chinese praying history, I didn't quite understand why. And since the spooky month is over, I would like to share my spooky experiences over the month of Hungry Ghost.

2 weeks ago I went into my college wash room alone. I heard a very peaceful, soft and long 'ting....' sound, it sounded like a wind chime. Funny, it only rang once. Maybe I was too tired or was it Aunty Pok's wind chime really got into my nerves and I'm bringing the chime sound everywhere with me.

A few days after that, I won a title 'Mandy the blind mice' when Candy caught me searching hi and low for a dress hanging right in front of me; I accused Candy for taking my car keys when I was holding them; and I keep losing things over the month. Well, not exactly lose them but I can't seem to find them eventhough they are just in front of me. "No more looking at the computer for 1 wk, I warned myself" or was I only comforting myself.

On the 15th day of the Hungry Ghost month, I saw at 3 accidents on my way from home to college, another 3 from college to office and 2 from office to home. That's the most accident's I ever saw in one day.

Recently, I often woke up in the middle of the night for no reason, my heart starts to beat so fast, feeling scared and alone. I cannot go sleep with Candy because she doesn't turn on the aircond.

Today, I signed in to work early because we're off for Raya Holidays. I entered the lift, pressed # 13 and start to think about number 13, 13 Ghost, Friday the 13th, Snow White and the 13 dwarfs, 13th month bonus and the sudden curiousity makes me realize that 13 was a not so lucky number, but why? I don't really know.

13 or not, I still have to work.

Later I went into the document room because I ned to photocpy 10 pages of document A and 10 copies of document B. I placed A on the copier screen, set to 10 copies and COPY. Then, I placed document B on it and COPY... to my surprise, document A was still coming out from the machine. o_O! I checked the settings and the document, everything was correctly set/placed.

This copier must be Malaysian made, I thought, because there was no brand/label. Ok, why don't I try Canon copier next to me. Oh, it's not working, so I gave Malaysian copier another try. 10 copies of document B done. I thought, maybe I've mis-pressed some buttons. Reluctantly I comforted myself.

I passed a number of wrong calls today because I cannot recognize the buttons on the keyphone. It's really weird, I'm as clueless as I was on my 1st day of work. It's alright, 1 more hour to freedom, I said...

After work, I didn't actually realize that many of my colleagues left the office earlier than me. I'm usually the most on time when it comes to swapping out. It feels creepy to be in the elevator alone at 5.05pm =_= seriously, NOBODY came in throughout the lift. When I finally reached ground floor...


Oh, today's the last day of Hungry Ghost month. Almost everybody from the building was praying at the roadside. No wonder everything seems creepy. This is actually the 3rd time I'm typing this blog because my texts just disappear everytime I attach this paper doll photo and all text alignment becomes distorted... I will do it again and again until I finish this blog! I must have mis-pressed whatever key on my keyboard again!!!!!!

Oh my, I'm surprised I can really be SO ignorant :P

Have you experienced anything spooky over the month of Hungry Ghost? Share with us...


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Let's work out!

What is your reaction when your buddy invites you to join him/her in the gym?

Me: o_O!!

Because our newly rented apartment has a gym so, Candy called me today and said "Hey Man, wanna go work out at the gym later in the evening?" Uh... it really kills my body cells the minute she said that. I didn't know what ran into her mind today but I couldn't help but recalling our days back in high school......

Remember we all use to have Pendidikan Jasmani (PJ) twice every week? And the training teachers (MTC teachers) who know nuts about exercise, simply ask us to run around the school field for 5 rounds WITHOUT warming up. I'd run half the field and hid behind teacher's car until others complete 4 1/2 rounds, only then I'll join them and complete the drama >:) Not that I'm lazy but I really can't run. While Candy... She also can't runlah, LOL! Just that I don't know how she got away with it that time; we were never in the same class back in school.

Ok, back to our gym project. I started with Cardio or the bicycle, whatever the name is -_-! for 5 minutes and that's it. I turned pale and then I went out to sit by the pool. Candy came out after 2-3 minutes also looking pale... and yes, we're done!

I think I have low blood sugar and I need 1 bar of chocolate; Candy can tahan 3 minutes longer than me, she can have 1/2 bar >:)

LOL, this is just hillarious~

Monday, September 14, 2009

Shhhhh... shut tttsup!

I bet we all have met people who can't speak properly or were they trying to 'be' somebody. This blog is specially dedicated to people who CAN speak properly but have choosen not to.

I find one of my colleagues Mary, which seriously ANNOYS me VERY MUCH because of the way she speaks. Let me try to put it in words:

Cantonese: Chhhhor hai tttsOu lah (sit right here)

Hockkien: Chhaaap Cheeeet Lau (17th floor)

Mandarin: Wo Gang Chhhhhai Chhhhheeeeeee (I went to... just now)

Every word is full of CHHHHHHH and it's making me go mad everytime she speaks to me! Why? She has no braces on her teeth, she can pronounces 'S' (so i'm sure her tongue is long enough) and it only happens when she speaks Chinese dialects! WHY??!!

Even her English is our local Manglish. When I first met her I thought she must be like 'totally' ENGLISH educated born in the US with 0% exposure to other races other than Caucasian.

One day I heard her saying "no, no, i ming, jilo jilo fai fai" (0055) and what the heck??!!!!

She claims to have completed her SPM Bahasa Cina but she pretends that she can't read chinese! It breaks our heart to see people who masters Chinese and yet they are shy to admit it. Candy and myself are working hard to learn Chinese by ourselves because we are from Sekolah Kebangsaan instead of what people like to say "English Educated" and believe it or not, in Chinese he/she/3rd party have different ways of writing, 他 for the masculine gender and 她 for the feminine. The Chinese language is indeed amazing and I bet I'm gonna spend the rest of my life learning it but unable to master it.

And what makes those people trying to pretend not knowing how to read Chinese?! Does that help to improve their English?

Ops sodi, chhhhhaaap chhhhhheeet lau.... egg egg fai jilo chlee!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Pok Bob

Mandy is trying to take a nap and the old couple (our neighbour) started to quarrel again. I cannot sleep even with the softest lullaby playing, I need peace, not to mention all the slamming doors and banging tables next door. No wonder the stupid rent is cheap! I thought I was smart to rent a big unit with cheap rental. I had to turn on my notebook and BLOG away the hours.

While checking my emails, I got a forwarded video from a friend where a 20 yr old gf hits her bf's testicles then face, then again demanded him to move his hands away while he was trying to cover (protect) his balls with his hands and *crashed* his eggs! I have immediately uploaded it on our blog hoping to share this lesson with all readers out there.

Back to our neighbour, the 2 old bags... They are both arguing in Hakka (one of the Chinese dialects) and again I happen to speak Hakka although I'm not puak Hakka. So it left me no choice but to 'understand' what they were quarreling.

Let's name them first, husband: Uncle Bob / wife: Aunty Pok cause she's just toooooooooo annoying and bermulut popok, I cannot think of another name!

Storey goes: Aunty Pok was grumbling when Uncle Bob was watching dunno what news on Astro. I assume Uncle Bob couldn't hear the tv while his wife is yelling, so uncle turned the volume louder. Aunty Pok alsoo assumed uncle Bob buat perangai and she started to scream.

Pok: Are you trying to ignore what I said?!!!!

Bob: Could you zip you mouth for 20 minutes, I'm trying to watch the news! I'll argue with you after the news, can??! (LOL, uncle's cool)

Pok: What do you mean by that? (continue shouting... =_=) I don't know why did I got married to you, *&^%$#@!! (some dialect vulgar words)

Bob: Shhhhh....!!!

Pok: Do you remember when you had an affair with the 7th floor lady, huh??? I was too forgiving at that time not to file a divorce and now you treat me like an enemy everyday, I cannot take it anymore!

*bing* *bang* *bomb* *slam* --> *silent*

While I was busy interpreting to Candy... after all the battle, they became silent. I hope nothing happened to Uncle Bob. If I were him, I'd have divorced this crazy woman when she started to talk loudly maybe like 20yrs ago. Can't seem to give peace a chance! A total nuisance!!!!!!!!!!

Usually is Aunty Pok yelling, I seldom hear Uncle Bob talk loudly. It reminds me of my grandparents. Quarrel everyday but not to the extend of neighbours "had to" listen to them like us.... =_=

Okay, I can take a nap now and I hope they don't talk to each other from now on. >:)

The Perfect Girlfriend


I bet everybody would have seen this video clip by now, where a 20 yr old girlfriend repeatedly hits her boyfriend's testicles and face with her high-heels. Candy and I were in fact, speechless. We have never imagined such scenario would happen to a man, not even once.

1st impression: I thought the lady was too much but looking at the boyfriend who just stood there helpless, made me even more angry. Why, what has he done to deserve all the humiliation? And he happens to be the Top Property Agent in Singapore with good looks and financially stable.

Maybe he was caught on bed with another woman, I thought. Haha.. but come'on, I wouldn't do that in front of the public to my bf if I caught him with another girl. At most is a few slaps and the rest belakang kiralah, if want to kill him ka, potong ka... not in the public ma, as you know, even a construction Bangla worker has a camera phone nowadays. I'd be famous overnight if the video is being posted on YouTube @_@ just like the pretty lady below. Or are we all too shallow to understand a Chinese proverb, "if you're afraid of your wife, you'll be rich!"

For those who have not seen this video, enjoy the show.







Let Candy and Mandy remind all guys, men out there, not to allow your girlfriend to hit your balls like Bishi Bashi !



Sunday, September 6, 2009

Heineken

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrVYozFvq8w


This is the best video I've ever seen :D

I like it the most when the guys were shouting in the beer room. LOL!

I wanted to upload the whole video here but the same error message keeps popping up. I had to only post the link instead >:)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

We Have Moved! (again)

Over the month, something dramatic again, happened to us. As we have mentioned, we have just moved into a new place, only Candy and myself sharing 1 apartment unit, with a small kitchen, a long bath in the master bed room and a little balcony :D We were very contented.

We have been happily staying there for about 2 months and suddenly the owner decides to sell the apartment -_-# Because the property prices in Penang suddenly shoots high. We were given 1 month to find a new place and MOVE! Of course, we were compensated according to the Tenancy Agreement but we had to go through another time trouble pack, move, unpack, clean and we had no time to bargain and in fact, we were not in the position to bargain due to the short notice. =_=!

The previous owner had given us his nice study table and a comfortable "manager chair" kikiki... kira oklah... :)

Still... I hate moving... -_-#

Now that we have settled down, we realized this apartment was not as good as the previous place. At least, our new neighbours are not. I guess you readers will expect more stories complaining our neighbours in future @_@!

There's a middle age couple staying next door and they quarrel almost everyday!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Love your feet



Candy & Mandy had their feet massaged last night.


Muscle is aching today T_T
although it feels like heaven during the massage >:P