Lesen Memandu

Look What Candy Discover Today?

OMG! See what I saw on my way to the car park today....Gosh! It's a SNAKE.

Can someone teach me how to buy TOTO and MAGNUM???

Come, I give u RM50...

Toilet Of The Year

I have this insecurity feeling everytime I enter my new office's toilet.


Is the lock usable? I don't think so.

I think even with ma "three leg cat kung fu" also can kick the door open...wuahahaha....

I'm Candy :)

Candy is BACK

Candy is BACK!

I have been trying to adapt to the new changes lately which causes me with not much time for blogging. As Mandy had mention, I have just take up a part time job as a "Documentation Clerk"and my only job function includes doing some simple translations. It's a pretty boring job and the working environment is no FUN at all. The whole office is as quiet as a library. No gorgeous hunk, no pretty babes (except me) and hardly anyone here speaks to one another. So funny, I thought to myself. But well, I am used to it by now and am now able to cope with both my workload and class assignments. During the 1st few days of work, I swear my whole body was aching like hell...Don't even feel like talking or eating after coming back from work. Feel so tired and god knows how many morning classes I had skip then...But worst, I pretty much ignore Mandy then. Feel so guilty now... Sorry, Man!

Politics

A little boy asks his dad, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Boleh !

I'm not sure how true is that but.. just for laughs.. :)

The Man..dy?

I was home over the weekend n my father surprised me with a new writing table in my room that he made. I was happy to receive the gift. It's nothing exclusive but it's the thought that counts. It's an ordinary wall mounted table which I designed.. or let's not make it sound so professional. I simply scribbled on a paper during the Raya weekend because I was bored with my table.

I'm so used to the fact that my father can fix / make almost anything, we seldom pay the professionals to do it. He is not a carpenter, he could build me a table, my extra ordinary large shoe rack, he's not a plumber, he could fix a tap, the toilet, the sink, he's not a wireman but he concealed my phone, internet cables in my room within an hour. What else he cannot do? :) Not trying to boast about my dad but Candy's dad can build a fish pond, fix the automatic gate, infact her dad can build more things!

Then I recall a guy which I dated, Danny, a 6 ft tall guy. You know, every girl wants to have a tall boyfriend who can protect them but unfortunately being tall is not enough. There's once, the tap in our apartment burst. Candy n I took turns to mop the floor because the water just couldn't stop and the plumber was on strike. Danny came by but he couldn't fix. Our fathers could easily fix it but WOW :O he could't? Okay, Candy's boyfriend came, he was a student but he fixed it. Good, he's the man!

That guy just don't know how to fix anything! Tap leak = don't know / a new dvd player = don't know how to connect / my lighting bulb is not working, he suggest that I change the bulb when it was the starter that spoilt (come'on, I also know). Being with him makes me feel helpless. Anyway, he was also a mommy's boy which was the main reason it all ended.

Candy says I'm gonna be lonely n grow old alone because I behave like a spinster, LOL. I'm starting to worry.. Am I going to spend my whole life alone because I can take care of such small things or simply with a man who cannot make me feel secure? Simple wiring call electrician, tap leak call plumber, car puncture call tyre shop? I mean, he has to be a millionaire to make those calls every minute! We all need a partner to be there for, to talk to, to cuddle, to love, to be loved but hey, is there a class / workshop that can make Danny tougher? You need not be a Master of All Trades but at least know abit? Can? Pls? Or else Mandy's gonna be so lonely because she knows how to change a bulb, stop a leak, CALL a plumber, CALL a wireman, CALL a fireman, policeman..

I know Danny's reading my blog.. I hate your stepmom, Dan! Kill her and I'll do all the plumbing, LOL!

Prisoner in the prison

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY?

Chippies

Remember I use to feed these Chippies in our former apartment? I feed them too, over here in our new place. In the begining, they came around, about 3-4 of them, later 6-7 now whole group of Chippies will wait for me in the morning and evening, demanding for food and I had to run up and down serving them food like Flo in Diner Dash.

ಠ_ಠ Who's the master now?

Oh boy, talk about Flo, I really miss Diner Dash. I use to have a Reflexive Keygen that was able to crack ALL games from their co. but lastly Reflexive found out and strengthen their game security, no more games since then -_-! Does anybody have a Key Generator (also known as Game Crack) for all games? I'm in hunger for games!

I hear MAP

I need psychiatric help.

I keep hearing things... that everybody else doesn't. Why? Why me?

In the office:

Manager A: Mandy, what time the map here?

Mandy: *silent* (I can't answer because I don't understand. I dare not ask because it may be something simple that I should know) Map... ??? Here/Hear??? Errr....

Manager A: (looking at me like he's trying to say I'm low B which means retarded, or something...)

Then he took my 30 cm ruler and acted like he's vacuuming the floor, trying to tell me by his action while saying "wuuu..." the vacuum sound, expressing his concern that what time will the maid be here.

He wanted to say 'MAID' ಠ_ಠ and he acted like I no read book (illiterate), huh?!!

I swore, I will correct him the next time he dare to MAP me, or WUUU... me !!!! I'm not prepared this time, just let me be the no read book MAP!

He added before he left "Is alright, I panic when my boss spit chu me for the first taing" he tapped my shoulder and gave me a Shah Rukh Khan smile =) He may be handsome.. ahem, ahahaha, hey! But he said MAP!!

*&^%$#@!! I wanted to kill someone!! If he wasn't the manager, I would have told him off! The full time receptionist stood beside me without reaction / expression like she just overheard a normal conversation.

Or am I the only one hearing things?

Banana Maniac

Banana: TADA !

Pear & Strawberry: *Scream*

The road is MINE~

Caught this dog sleeping in the middle of the road and all cars had to line up behind me and wait for it to slowly wake up, stretch its bones, scratch its back and slowly walked away..

Who's the master now?

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!'

Monkey Organization

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Why it's better to be a woman?

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

5. Taxis stop for us.

6. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

7. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

8. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

9. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

10. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

11. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

12. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

13. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

14. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

15. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

16. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

17. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

18. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

19. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

20. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

21. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

22. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

23. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

24. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

Tissue

Candy and I had a nice dinner last night to pamper ourselves after 1 month of hard work. After dinner we further treated ourselves with Baskin Robbins double scoop cone; while I was driving and eating my ice-cream I saw a bunch of police not far from us. Without hesitating, I passed my ice-cream to Candy and... (whistling)... continue to drive...

After that, I turn to Candy and she was holding both ice-creams melting like water fall. She didn't have tissue in her bag and the one box of tissue in my car, is empty. We stopped aside, dug in my handbag for some tissue, didn't know where to find a tap so we washed our hands with the windscreen water :"> so messy...

I woke up today and decided to make Candy carry some tissue from today onwards! But how?

DONE!

I hope with this little pocket tissue holder which carries some sentimental value, would eventually make her feel the obligation to carry some tissue in her BAG. I was so in the mood of sewing, I made one after another and ended up with so many tissue holders, I don't know what to do with them. One who carries a pocket tissue don't need a holder. People who doesn't carry tissue, obviously doesn't need it too. Alamak!

Lesson learnt: we should always have a bottle of water in the car or some wet tissue in our bags, just in case we spill coffee, coke, milo ice in the car especially if you love to eat and drink while you drive.

National Day Parade?

I have received a link from a friend showing China's 60th communist rule National Day Parade in Beijing. It was grand and must I say, we're so behind time if we were to compare our Merdeka Parade to theirs'.

Link: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/10/china_celebrates_60_years.html


Wow, helicopters... I thought they only have bicycles >: )

I feel motivated !

Wiw weet~ Model-like policewomen

Versus our Merdeka Parade -_- zzZzzZz... Hi..

Video - Twinkle2 Little Star ~ ~

Vata nice song: